Sometimes I get the feeling that my new pregnant body must look like a genie’s lamp because I have never had so many people try to rub me in my life. I really don’t get the obsession of rubbing the belly. I even had to think to myself if I ever had the urge to reach out and touch one of my girlfriends pregnant bellies and rub it...NO never had that urge.
Perhaps they are fascinated with how round I have become, or perhaps it’s like one of those stress rocks as they rub on me they fell better. I don’t really know all I know is I don’t like it. And the funny thing is you see this hand coming at you and it’s almost like slow motion in my eyes, only it’s not. Before I have time to say, “no thank you” there is the hand rubbing on my belly.....oh brother!
I wonder if this is some weird ritual that started centuries ago where women said, “This is what we’ll do, lets rub her belly it will bring good luck.” Who knows I can’t figure it all out. All I know is every time I’m around my friends they start making cooing noises, then they rub and talk to my belly.
I want to tell them, “My baby doesn’t have ears yet!” or “Listen, I don’t want my kid to hear 100 different voices yet...just mine.” Or , “Hey can you stop rubbing me please your wearing the flesh off my body I only have so much to go around.” But it seems hopeless so most times I just grin and bear it.
But the next time you see a pregnant friend don’t just reach out and start rubbing...just fight the urge.
Maybe we can start a belly’s anonymous group. “ Hi my name is Mary and I’m a belly rubbing addict” Hi Mary.
Who knows maybe I will start a trend.
WORD TO THE WISE
Unless you are sure that a magic Jeanie will come out of your girlfriends belly and grant you your lifetime wish of a cabana boy, a cool tea, some grapes and a fan, please back off the bump.
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